you're in public, philadelphia roll.

do you know why people aren't sitting next to you? and are obviously moving away from you? it's because you're making audible grunting noises. and now you're laughing to yourself. it's weird, philadelphia roll. you're a creep.

ugh, naan.

the reason you have no friends is because you are literally the worst. ever.

holy crap, milk duds.

you speak to your fucking mother with that mouth?

well, excuse me, egg rolls.

CLEARLY i didn't see you standing there, or else i wouldn't have fucking walked right into you. i don't just run into people on purpose, dickwad. it was an accident.

are you stalking me, chili cheese fries?

really? a rock through my window? there are better ways to get attention, dickface.

are you high, tortellini?

my dog hating your yappy little hamsterdog doesn't mean you have to be a dick to me. it's not my fault my dog is an excellent judge of character.

why don't you get how this works, combination fried rice?

your legs and your backpack are taking up the entire four-seater section of the bus. THE ENTIRE SECTION. four people are supposed to be able to sit here, yet there's you and your bag and your whatevers, all wedged in. sharing is caring, asshat.